..what was said about y'all where you couldnt see
As most of you know there is a certain girl who doesnt want people to know where her blog is but I was lucky enough to happen apon it by accident and so I am privelged to read it , now there was a blog post she made that I felt all her friends should read and it made me cry so I asked and now bring you, with permission from the author, the reason I cried at work:
I handed my thesis in today.
That's it, my final had in for University. I'm done. That's it, its over. I actually have to start looking for a job, looking for a place in the real world. I have to leave the safe, wonderful, happy place that is University - the place where I managed to find who I am again.
You see, before Varsity I was pretty broken. I didn't like people. To be honest, I didn't have friends. Well, I had friends, but nobody really close. I didn't have very social hobbies either - I read, watched TV, got into internet chatting for a while, until I picked up a boyfriend who ended up stalking me when I didn't really feel anything for him.
Then I got to Varsity. I decided life was going to be different. I was going to have friends. And it started out well, making lots of friends in Res, people doing my course. And then someone introduced me to CLAWs - the roleplaying society on campus.
At first they freaked me out. But after a cup of coffee with all of them (instead of having supper with a brand new couple) I figured out they were ok, not scarey goths (not all of them anyway). Another chance occurance later and I was in the society room, asking the dreaded "what's roleplaying" question to the then really intimidating and scarey guy that I now date. To cut a long story short, I decided it looked like fun and tried it out.
Haven't looked back since. I have real friends now - I lost a few who couldn't understand my weird hobby and why on a friday night I had "commitments" to pretend to be someone else. But the friends I have now...some of them are like family to me. I sometimes can't believe how important they are to me. They support me when I'm down, they're there to talk to when I'm happy. Hell, when my boyfriend went overseas I became very close to a group I hadn't been close to before as they decided to pretty much keep me entertained and my mind off the distance between me and my boyfriend for a little over 2 months. They'd come over and visit til late babysitting me and would sometimes even stay while I had phone calls that must have been over an hour long long with my boyfriend and would try to make me smile when I was teary. One even turned back for me in a situation that was intensly terrifying and that could have risked their life. That's the kind of friends I have now. That's what makes all the little trials and tribulations worth it. And the best thing is, that they let me into their lives too.
Now, it may seem like this tribute to my friends diverts from the subject - but I wouldn't have had the friends I have now without Varsity. And without the support that I've had since first year I would still be in my cold, hard shell. I still am, just a lot more out of it.
During first year my parents commented that I was starting to be more like the spunky little dgirl they once knew instead of the introverted teenager that I had become.
And that's why this end scares me. Varsity has been a constant crucial place for me. Its led to me being the person I am now, knowing the truly marvelous and magnificant people I know. It was my initial link to them, and now I'm leaving.
I know that for the most part, with the people who really make a difference, it won't matter. And my boyfriend will still be here, so I'll keep links through him.
But varsity has been safe. Its been a refuge.
I'm going to miss it.
But moving along is exciting to. And actually writing this has made me realize - all the things that I associate with varsity that make it truly special, they aren't going to go away. It's going to be ok.
You know what. I'm starting to get excited by this now.
It's done. I'm moving on.
Nice to be appriciated isnt it?
And its done...
As ArchAngel said, no big thing. No fanfare, no thunder, no bright neon sign saying "Its done."
I handed my thesis in today.
That's it, my final had in for University. I'm done. That's it, its over. I actually have to start looking for a job, looking for a place in the real world. I have to leave the safe, wonderful, happy place that is University - the place where I managed to find who I am again.
You see, before Varsity I was pretty broken. I didn't like people. To be honest, I didn't have friends. Well, I had friends, but nobody really close. I didn't have very social hobbies either - I read, watched TV, got into internet chatting for a while, until I picked up a boyfriend who ended up stalking me when I didn't really feel anything for him.
Then I got to Varsity. I decided life was going to be different. I was going to have friends. And it started out well, making lots of friends in Res, people doing my course. And then someone introduced me to CLAWs - the roleplaying society on campus.
At first they freaked me out. But after a cup of coffee with all of them (instead of having supper with a brand new couple) I figured out they were ok, not scarey goths (not all of them anyway). Another chance occurance later and I was in the society room, asking the dreaded "what's roleplaying" question to the then really intimidating and scarey guy that I now date. To cut a long story short, I decided it looked like fun and tried it out.
Haven't looked back since. I have real friends now - I lost a few who couldn't understand my weird hobby and why on a friday night I had "commitments" to pretend to be someone else. But the friends I have now...some of them are like family to me. I sometimes can't believe how important they are to me. They support me when I'm down, they're there to talk to when I'm happy. Hell, when my boyfriend went overseas I became very close to a group I hadn't been close to before as they decided to pretty much keep me entertained and my mind off the distance between me and my boyfriend for a little over 2 months. They'd come over and visit til late babysitting me and would sometimes even stay while I had phone calls that must have been over an hour long long with my boyfriend and would try to make me smile when I was teary. One even turned back for me in a situation that was intensly terrifying and that could have risked their life. That's the kind of friends I have now. That's what makes all the little trials and tribulations worth it. And the best thing is, that they let me into their lives too.
Now, it may seem like this tribute to my friends diverts from the subject - but I wouldn't have had the friends I have now without Varsity. And without the support that I've had since first year I would still be in my cold, hard shell. I still am, just a lot more out of it.
During first year my parents commented that I was starting to be more like the spunky little dgirl they once knew instead of the introverted teenager that I had become.
And that's why this end scares me. Varsity has been a constant crucial place for me. Its led to me being the person I am now, knowing the truly marvelous and magnificant people I know. It was my initial link to them, and now I'm leaving.
I know that for the most part, with the people who really make a difference, it won't matter. And my boyfriend will still be here, so I'll keep links through him.
But varsity has been safe. Its been a refuge.
I'm going to miss it.
But moving along is exciting to. And actually writing this has made me realize - all the things that I associate with varsity that make it truly special, they aren't going to go away. It's going to be ok.
You know what. I'm starting to get excited by this now.
It's done. I'm moving on.
Nice to be appriciated isnt it?
posted by Hila | 2:12 PM
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